Once upon a time, specifically twice a week all last month, I (a New Fish, if you will) took some swimming lessons because I have a fear of water. Things seemed to go pretty well. I established some camaraderie with other water-fearing folk and had a little fun. Then the month ended and I was left with a feeling of emptiness inside, and that caught me off guard.
You may recall that I don’t like water much, particularly the kind of water where creepy crawlies await to bite all my toes off one-by-one.
But the swimming pool was different. It was so safe! Instructors and lifeguards abounded, which made me feel like I’d only swallow half the pool before they managed to drag me out. Also, turns out I thrived once I understood the specifics and followed direction. I’m not so narcissistic as to imply I came out on top after our lessons, but I will say that I was probably the second-to-most confident person in our class by the end (she’s so vain!). I also seemed to grasp the concepts and embrace the moves more than the most of my classmates. The other Sarah with an “h” seemed to think I was doing a great job at least, and seeing as she was the teacher I took that for all it was worth.
Those feelings of safety and confidence led me to actually enjoy the classes (I know, right, who knew?). I was also relishing the strength I seemed to be gaining, in my belly and my arms particularly, though the whole process didn’t really feel like a workout. I enjoyed classes so much that when one of our classes was cancelled due to vomit in the pool, I was quite upset. I almost, ALMOST, wanted to tell them I was okay with the mess because I didn’t want to miss class… and then I snapped out of that insanity! Ew. And boy was it ever hard to get back into the groove of things after missing a class and making it so that we all went a whole week without practicing our swimming skillzzz! But we did get back into that groove, and we kept getting a little better as the weeks went by.
Before we knew it September was coming to a close. We all wondered what we’d do after our classes ended, and a few people talked about taking the next set of classes. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I thought I’d talk it over with our instructor during our last class. Then, our last class was cancelled, this time due to a chlorine leak. And while I didn’t have any inclination to subject myself to whatever side effects that might incur, I was incredibly disappointed that my last class was snatched away from me just when I was feeling like I could really get the hang of this swimming thing.
So then it was prematurely over. And I’m still not quite sure what to do with myself two weeks later. I accomplished another goal – so hooray! and pats on the back and all that. But I kinda didn’t want it to end so I’m not sure how to handle that. I certainly don’t want to shell out another $100+ for another month of classes, not to mention my instructor is off on an open-ended trip to Australia and will be unavailable to continue. Yet I’m also not so sure about suddenly going to the pool and doing lanes because, well, I’m still a “New Fish,” and those lanes go needlessly away from the nice, comfy shallow end into the dark abyss of the deep end… We never did get into the deep end without using lifejackets during classes, and while I’m confident, I’m not THAT confident. And I don’t want to be the guppy that’s only using half a lane and holding up all the “Old Fish” in the pool.
So I’m in swimming limbo. I guess you could say that, for now, I’m just treading water…
(I know, I know, my sense of humour is AWESOME!)